- Home Newsletter
- "Good Old-Fashioned Respect"
"Good Old-Fashioned Respect"
Hi everyone,
It's confession time. I'm going to own up to being caned once at school and slippered innumerable times.
I can't remember all the slipperings, (it was a painful rubber plimsoll, actually), but I do remember the caning.
My best mate, Doddy Dodsworth, and I had been playing football in the school yard when one of us kicked the ball over the wall. Since the school backed onto the high street, the ball landed on the roof of one of the shops, a shoemaker's. Doddy and I slipped out of the school gates (another heinous crime), asked the shoemaker if we could recover the ball from his roof and in crawling across a very rickety structure, both fell crashing through it to the workshop below.
Our pains were nothing compared to the humiliation we were about to receive the next day.
Our headmaster was old school. And we knew perfectly well what was coming. In the morning assembly in front of the ranks of be-gowned masters and 750 boys, we were summoned to the front of the hall and ordered to go at once to the head's study where we knew the fate that awaited us.
6 of the best. (Though not even the passage of time has made me come to any understanding of why caning on the palms of both hands could be regarded as anything good, let alone best.)
I recount this tale after reading some of the sad statistics on the apparent decline in classroom behaviour in some of our schools: more noise; more disruption; more disobedience; more truancy; more expulsions; more teachers leaving the profession in a state of shock.
It makes me wonder if this is a trend we'll see reflected one day in the training room.
I hope not.
Because the one thing my little escapade taught me and which I like to think I pass on in all my training, - as a side dish, though it could very well be the main course, - is the need to learn good old-fashioned respect.
That's respect for property, respect for friends, respect for strangers, respect for the elderly, respect for the organisation you belong to, respect for family, respect for those in positions of authority, and respect for yourself.
With this in mind, I recently added a great new resource to my collection of course materials. It's called "Rules of Respect" and comes from the teachings of The Sacred Tree, a collection of codes of ethics from native peoples, put together by the Native American Inter-Tribal Group at the University of Lethbridge.
You just might want to use it too if you train others.
Here it is.
"The Rules of Respect
Showing Respect is a basic law of life.
Treat every person from the tiniest child to the oldest elder with respect at all times.
Special respect should be given to elders, parents, teachers, and council leaders.
No person should be made to feel "put down" by you. Avoid hurting others' hearts as you would a deadly poison.
Touch nothing that belongs to someone else (especially sacred objects) without permission.
Respect the privacy of every person. Never intrude on a person's quiet moments or personal space.
Never interrupt people who are conversing.
Speak in a soft voice, especially when you are in the presence of elders, strangers, or others to whom special respect is due.
Do not speak unless invited to do so at gatherings where elders are present, except to ask what is expected of you in case you are in any doubt.
Never speak about others in a negative way, whether they are present or not.
Treat the earth and all her aspects as your mother. Show deep respect for the mineral world, the plant world and the animal world.
Do nothing to pollute the air or the soil. If others would destroy our mother, rise up with wisdom to defend her.
Show deep respect for the beliefs of others.
Listen with courtesy to what others say, even if you feel that what others are saying is worthless. Listen with your heart.
Respect the wisdom of the people in council. Once you give an idea to the council or meeting it no longer belongs to you. It belongs to the people. Respect demands that you listen intently to the ideas of others and that you do not insist that your idea prevails.
All the races and tribes of this world are like the different coloured flowers in the meadow. All are beautiful. As children of our Creator, they must all be respected."
Why not post your own version of "The Rules of Respect"? It might just turn back the tide of disrespect in your little corner of the world and help keep the cane and the slipper in the dustbin for good!
Happy training and happy respecting!
Eric